Recommitment

It is a strange thing but there are points in your life in which you come to the realization that you have drifted too far from where you thought you were going.  You're not always sure exactly how it happened but if you think back far enough you can kinda remember how it started.  My son just learned this the hard way with his checking account.  It was a simple enough mistake, a tiny overdraft, but by the time he realized that the deposit he made had automatically been used to pay the overdraft fees, he had bounced more transactions,this time to the tune of $320 in fees alone.  It took time and energy to track down where the mistake began and then there was the fact that it would take him weeks of work to pay off the fees that accured! Thank God for an understanding bank who saw what had happened and forgave the fees and gave him a fresh start with a new understanding of the importance of the little daily things.  We don't always get those breaks in life, those moments that our mistakes magically reset themselves and we get a cosmic do-over.  Most times we have to find a way to walk back to the path through the underbrush and mud. How do you and I fight the depression that occurs when we realize what a tough walk we have ahead? 

I think sometimes we have to  just keep our goal ever before us. Don't spend as much time looking back at where we where, but look at the progress we are making towards where we want to be.  For me, it is like those last few miles of a road trip. The promise of MY shower and MY bed keeps me going, I keep focused on the tangible reward at the end of the journey.  It is amazing what we human being can do if we focus on the task ahead of us.  

As an artist and a minister it is always a challenge for me to balance my need for solitude and study with my call to be of service in a hurting world.  I haven't been doing well lately at all! And I believe it is beginning to show in my work.  The less time I spend feeding my spirit the less effective I become at feeding others and the effect is like my son's checking account, my body writes checks that my spritual reserves just can't cash! 

Sometimes the checks are to big to correct easily. In those cases, time apart may give you a place to plan how to get back on track, not give you time to forget the problem, but to pray for recommitment to the goal and refocusing on God's will for your life.  Just always remember that God can use you in any circumstances you find yourself, even when it is the mud and mire on the side of the path you never meant to travel.